DixysBits,  Mum stuff,  Uncategorised

Nurturing Friendship

I have just returned from a weekend away with my best friend of 33 years, Roxanna. Despite being best friends our whole entire life, we have only been away together as a pair once before, in 2015 to Vegas. 

The weekend was spent in Rome, a city that I had never been to and one which she had only visited briefly as a teenager. One of the main attractions was its reputation for amazing food and abundant gelateries! And on both fronts, boy did it deliver! 

Sometimes motherhood is all consuming and at times I reflect nostalgically on my pre-baby friendships, where I would be able to have conversations without constant interruptions, or I could be completely present in a situation without considering the impact that extra hour spent out or that extra drink may have on the family routine the following day. I tend to find my mind so overly occupied with stuff, jobs that need doing, milk that needs replenishing, wash loads that need coordinating, that having time to escape that felt like an absolute luxury. 

Whilst away, I was able to switch off from home. In truth, I didn’t fret whether the boys were okay, I knew they would be as they were in the very capable hands of Hal and my parents. Yes, there may have been more chocolate involved in the days than I would probably like, but fuck it if it means I can step away for 72 hours. 

Being away with my life long BFF,  allowed us to make even more memories to reflect on, and it also reminded us why we have been such good friends for so many years. Once we got over the fact that we nearly missed our flight and we had to race to the gate (all my fault, duty free got me!), things were smooth and easy. Being with her reminded me that despite predominantly wearing the titles ‘wife’ and ‘mother’ because of my current domesticity, I also love being a good ‘friend’. I have always valued good friendships and generally not been fussed about having lots of friends, the quality of a friendship has been more important to me. I think any friendship can suffer a little when you have children, especially if you’re not in the same stages of life. I wouldn’t say Roxy and I have drifted, its was more that we just hadn’t spent a lot of time together without my kids this year. Sure we have had the odd day out, but it was so special and good for the soul to be with each other for a prolonged period of time. We have made a commitment to try and do this once a year; get away from our lives and nurture our friendship which is so important to both of us. 

Coming away from this weekend, I felt refreshed, happy to return back to my full time mum routine. I am such a lucky lady to have such a bangin’ support network around me which allowed for a trip like this to happen. I don’t take that for granted at all, I know a lot of people that don’t have that so something like our trip away just wouldn’t be possible.

Are you able to have time away from the kids with your friends? Have your relationships with friends changed with age (whether kids are involved or not)? 

Love, pizza, pasta and gelato,


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